A Night To Remember
by Romancefantasy
Summary: A lot of firsts for Spock and Nyota. The road to romance is a rough and bumpy one for these two but they are bound to work it out, right? Will a lifetime of hiding and pretending finally catch up to them? Can they overcome their fears? Get your hankies out!
1. First Contact

**First Contact **

"Who would have thought this day would ever come?" Kirk said to the bridge crew as they set course for the Gorn homeworld.

"I certainly wouldn't have", McCoy said. "Especially since it wasn't that long ago that you tried to blow the Gorn out of the sky."

"Don't remind me of that Bones, I still get a twinge in my knee when I beam down to a damp planet. That Gorn nearly killed me in that fight you know? And let's not forget they attacked our base on Cestus III and killed our people without provocation."

"Yeah, Jim but they were only trying to protect themselves from a perceived invasion."

"Real or perceived, they made first contact, Bones. And as I said at the time it was our duty to protect our people, not play politics. I leave all that to the stuffed suits above my pay grade."

"Well, thanks to those stuffed suits we now call the Gorn friend.

And Mr. Spock, I hear its all thanks in no small part to your Father and the Vulcan delegation sent to negotiate a peace treaty?"

"I have heard that the Vulcans were instrumental in the proceedings," Spock said neutrally.

"Instrumental? Heck, I heard they went in there and charmed the pants, er, uh, togas off those Gorn. Had them chomping at the bit to make peace with the Federation, first contact with the Enterprise notwithstanding."

"I'm sure the Gorn found the prospect mutually beneficial to both our people. Both the Enterprise and their scout ship were nearly destroyed by the Metrons. My father merely pointed out that it was the ingenuity and mercy of Captain Kirk that spared both ships from destruction by a race neither side had the power to oppose."

"Well whatever the reason, it sure is a pleasant surprise. Though I have to tell you I am not looking forward to seeing a Gorn again." McCoy said.

"Me either Bones, but we've been chosen to attend this treaty signing ceremony and the following reception," Kirk said.

"And that leads me to one other piece of business. We have also been ordered to send over our own delegation to coordinate the events with the Gorn and Vulcan organizers once we arrive."

Captain Kirk turned around in his chair to face the back of the bridge and Spock had a sinking feeling, though he would never let it show on his face.

"Mr. Spock, Luitentant Uhura, I want you two on this. Put together a small team of cultural experts, whoever you need, and report to the Vulcan consulate there at 0800 hours."

"And Lieutenant, make sure to show them the softer side of the Enterprise, let them know we're not all as barbaric as I am," Kirk said smiling.

"Aye Captain," Uhura said.

"Captain, though I have no doubt that Lt. Uhura will do an excellent job, I fail to see why I am needed on such an assignment."

"Well Mr. Spock, not to be obvious but you are Vulcan, the Vulcans are the ones who brokered this treaty so the Gorn will already be used to Vulcan sensibilities. Not to mention you were always the advocate of mercy, it was you who cautioned me to temper my response. You're uniquely suited for this kind of thing, you're a born peacemaker. Take Bones with you, I think he'd be an asset to your team, and I'm sure he'd like to get a chance to study the Gorn up close and personal." Kirk grinned turning back around.

"I most certainly would not!" Bone interjected.

"Bones, I thought you were always up for a little adventure?"

"I've had enough adventure with the Gorn to last a lifetime thank you very much."

"Too bad, you're assigned. Now all of you get going, we'll be arriving in a few hours so that doesn't leave much time to make all the arrangements."

"Aye captain" Spock and Uhura answered in unison as they made their way to the lift but Bones stuck by Jim's chair.

"Jim, what do you think you're pulling?"

"Keep an eye on everyone Doctor, make sure they don't start a major intergalactic incident."

"Me? Shouldn't you be saying that to Spock? He's your second in command."

"Normally I would, but Spock is going to be working closely with the Vulcans."

"Yeah, so?"

"So, he hasn't had the best history with Vulcans especially his Father Ambassador Sarek. It might compromise his judgment."

"Jim, this is Spock we're talking about, he's a professional through and through. Besides, I thought he and Sarek made up."

"Spock may be in control normally Bones, but when family and childhood trauma are involved..."

"Trauma? What trauma?" McCoy cut in.

"I can't say exactly. But Spock has let some things slip over the years, and he is my best friend. I want him to get along with his family and his people and he can't do that hiding on this ship forever."

"Jim, why are you meddling?"

"I'm not meddling. Spock is the finest officer I've ever served with and the best man I know. He deserves to have a family and a home if he wants them. And if I can nudge him in that direction what harm can it cause?"

* * *

Having been selected as the flagship to represent the Federation's interests in the sector, the crew of the Enterprise was front and center at the treaty signing ceremony between the Gorn and the Federation. Now that the boring part of the event was finished, the crew was decked out in formal dress uniform and ready to cut loose at the post-treaty signing ball. Apparently, the Gorn liked to party and the ball was in full swing.

Uhura was feeling extra excited tonight. She and her team had worked extremely hard to ensure that this ball went over without a hitch. They had met with some resistance from their Vulcan counterparts over the preparations, however, the Gorn were all for their ideas on how to make the event a success. Now she was reaping the rewards of her efforts and she was determined to enjoy herself. She was having fun, flirting with all the handsome officers who couldn't seem to take their eyes off of her or the skin tight formal uniform she was wearing. She even caught the eye of a few Gorn soldiers. She never lacked a dance partner or a full glass of champagne. She was only missing one thing, or rather one person.

Uhura especially loved her formal uniform. It was long and skinny and fit her to perfection. It covered her from collar to ankle yet it left nothing to the imagination. Normally she preferred her itty bitty skort uniform but this romper style jumpsuit had its own charms, comfort being the main one. Meanwhile, she noted several fellow male officers were constantly tugging at their collars uncomfortably. Poor babies.

"Wow!" Someone said from behind her. "What are you wearing Lieutenant?"

She turned around to see the Captain looking her up and down with appreciation.

"Oh, this old thing?" She did a little twirl. "It's my old dress uniform from the academy. Can you believe it still fits after all these years?"

"Still fits you say? Are you sure about that Lieutenant?" Kirk asked playfully.

"Yes! Why Captain, do you see anything amiss?" She feigned looking over her shoulder to check her posterior.

"There's not a thing amiss, its a hit," Kirk said.

"More like an explosion," McCoy said coming up behind Jim.

"Thank you, Captain, Doctor," Uhura said sweetly.

Uhura looked behind McCoy to see Mr. Spock sulking in the background. He was staring at her with dark brooding eyes but he did not say anything. Before she could speak to him a large tall Gorn came over and slapped Kirk on the back and summoned him away while another Gorn diplomat asked her to dance. She gave Spock one last lingering look before she was swept away to the dancefloor.

Besides dancing with the Gorn dignitaries, she had the chance to dance with Sulu, McCoy, Chekov, Scotty, DeSalle, and she even went a turn with some of the Vulcan dignitaries. There was one man she had yet to dance with, though it wasn't due to lack of trying. Finally, after politely declining a dance invitation from another Gorn soldier, she sidled up to Mr. Spock who was trying to be inconspicuous in a darkened corner of the ballroom.

"Mr. Spock, you haven't danced the entire evening. In fact, you've barely moved from this spot."

"How astute of you to notice Lieutenant. Especially since you have been keeping your dance card full this evening. I do not believe that you have taken a break all night."

"How astute of you to notice Commander. We all have to do our part in welcoming our newest allies. A lot of people are a bit wary of the Gorn, especially after what happened on Cestus three."

"The incident on Cestus three occurred because the Federation rushed colonizing a planet without a thorough investigation of the area. We encroached on their territory and the Gorn merely retaliated."

"Yeah, well you know how some people are, no amount of truth and logic will deter them from their prejudices."

"Yes, I have experienced the truth of this sentiment."

"Okay, well it's your turn now."

"My turn for what?"

"Your name is at the top of my dance card, Mister."

"I will yield my turn to a more deserving man."

"There's no such thing," Uhura said taking him by the arm. She was about to lead him to the dancefloor when she felt a wave of dizziness. "Actually, I am in need of a little breather, and it is your duty to see that all the crew are behaving and representing Earth properly."

"I see no issue with your behavior this evening Lieutenant."

"And you won't see any issue so long as you join me. Keep me out of trouble." She grinned up at Spock with a sparkle in her eyes.

"I would prefer not to."

"You don't want to keep me out of trouble?" she asked her smile faltering.

"I would prefer not to dance this evening."

"Why? How often do we get to let our hair down and cut loose? This might be our last opportunity, the 5-year mission is ending and the Enterprise crew might be permanently separated." She said becoming serious. "We've worked together side by side for 4 years and we've never even shared a danced. Let's make this a night to remember, shall we?" Uhura looked up at Spock with her big brown pleading eyes and Spock relented.

"Very well Lieutenant." Spock allowed Nyota to lead him away from the sidelines, however, she didn't take him to the dancefloor where uptempo dance music was playing. Instead, she headed for a side exit that led out onto a patio. There a live band was set up in a corner playing soft slow mood music. The night air was cool for a summer evening but the sky was clear and crowded with bright stars. Uhura took a deep breath and Spock noted she visibly relaxed as they got away from the bustle of the ballroom. Perhaps she truly did require a rest?

"Are you alright Lieutenant?"

"Yes, I am now. I just needed some air to clear my head. You may think I am in my element entertaining folks, but I've been on my feet all day and as much as I enjoy a party, hosting a ball is still hard work."

"Then we should sit", he said trying to guide her to one of the benches near the ornate railing.

"No, I don't want to sit, not just yet. I owe you a dance. Besides, I needed a break from that room, from being the 'hostess with the mostess'. I just wanted to enjoy some of this evening with someone familiar, and be comfortable without having to put on a show. Does that make any sense Mr. Spock?"

"Indeed it does."

"Good cause I'm beginning to lose the plot a bit," and she hiccupped and then giggled. "How did I ever get roped into being the liaison for this event anyway?"

"The captain volunteered you which is usually the case in such matters."

"Well, I'll have to find a way to thank him properly", she said tartly. "C'mon lets dance."

"Are you sure you are up for it?" Spock noticed her swaying on her feet.

"Yes, I just want to sway to the music, think you can keep up with me?"

"I will make every effort to do so."

Uhura wrapped her arms around Spock's neck while he held her about her waist. She breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed against him.

"See this is nice, isn't it? Not too much human contact for you?"

"No", Spock said quietly, "not too much at all."

"I think we deserve extra shore leave after this. I mean, we had to plan this shindig while everyone else just moped around the ship or explored the planet."

"I am certain the Captain would be agreeable to allowing you and the others in the committee some well-deserved downtime."

"Just me and the others? What about you Mr. Spock? You seem to have drawn the short straw in all this. You had to deal with your father as well as the Gorn."

"Vulcans don't require downtime to rejuvenate. I will meditate per my usual practice."

"I don't care if you require downtown, you've earned the time for yourself. Besides, I can't go traipsing about this alien planet on my own. Don't misunderstand me, the Gorn I've met so far have been perfectly agreeable, but I wouldn't feel comfortable roaming their cities alone. You're my official partner, remember? We're in this together until the end."

"Of course Lieutenant."

"Are you humoring me?" Uhura smiled up at Spock.

"No, I would not agree to do anything I did not want to do," he said enigmatically.

"Good. Cause I don't want to bully you, not that I ever could. I just...I don't know, I wish you enjoyed yourself more. You work so hard and do so much for all of us. I know you didn't want to be on the planning committee, but you never complained. And I know some of the Vulcan delegates went out of their way to be rude to you too."

"They were not rude, they were just expressing their opinion. An opinion my father shares."

"No, I don't believe that. They were being rude plain and simple. And I hope Sarek gave them a piece of his mind in private."

"As I have said, Sarek agrees with their views of Starfleet and of me."

"Nonsense. I saw how he looked when he overheard that junior ambassador berating you. He was not amused."

"Sarek is never amused."

"You know what I mean. He's a dad. He may reprimand you about your life choices but that's his job, not theirs."

"I am well acquainted with their views, it is of no consequence."

"Maybe it's not important to you, but I didn't like it and neither did Sarek. Oh, Spock, I don't want to talk about the Vulcans or the Gorn for that matter. I just want to relax for a moment. Let's just enjoy the dance, can you do that?" Uhura rested her head on Spock's shoulder and Spock did enjoy the dance and his partner.

Uhura's hair smelled like roses and blended in perfectly with the fragrance of the garden flowers on the patio where they danced. As they swayed gently together, he was acutely aware of her hands touching the skin of his neck while his hands rested lightly on the small of her back. It took a considerable amount of discipline not to pull her closer to him and devour her in his embrace. Lately, Spock acknowledged that it was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore Lieutenant Uhura at all.

Since their accidental engagement on the night of his divorce from T'Pring, Spock had decided he needed to separate himself from Nyota Uhura. She was too tempting and she didn't realize what she was doing when she offered herself to him. She wanted to be friends while he wanted something more. Since he could not have it, he was going to avoid her. But his plan was failing miserably. He could not avoid her and he could not have her and it was torture. Why was she doing this to him?

* * *

Why was she doing this to herself? Why did she drag Spock out here and ask him to dance? Why was she putting herself so close to this man who had shown her at every turn that he did not want to spend time with her outside of work? Was she a glutton for torture?

But Uhura couldn't help herself, she had to keep trying. She needed to know what she had done to drive him away from her. She and Spock had been so close at one point. Perhaps it as just her imagination, but Nyota thought that just before Spock's 'divorce' that they were maybe more than friends. They were always together, always working, eating, exercising, and playing together.

Spock was teaching her to speak the high Vulcan dialects. He'd offered to teach her Vulcan self-defense after her stint on Triskelion. At the height of their relationship, they had begun to spend so much time together that she had given him the lock code to her quarters and he had given his to her. They did everything together except sleep.

And then nothing. Oh, at first it was subtle. Spock fond excuses not to meet her for dinner or for lessons, and then he started spending more of his time in his science lab or in engineering with Scotty or with the Captain and Doctor McCoy. She couldn't fault him for how he chose to spend his time. But it stung her that he had practically cried on her shoulder when his wife dumped him and then suddenly he ghosted her. Why did men treat her like this, and why did she tolerate it?

Where were her self-respect and dignity? She was chasing Spock like she as a lovesick yeoman. Even Christine had calmed down on her pursuit and started to focused on her career goals. Why was she stuck on this man who didn't give her a second thought? Well no more. She decided. Tonight she was done with Mr. Spock! Yeah right, and that's why she was holding on to him like he was the last man alive.

Uhura sighed as she and Spock swayed to the music. Was it her imagination or did he hold her a little too close? His hand felt so good on the small of her back. She could feel its heat through the thin material of her dress uniform. The outfit was within regs though technically the bodysuit was supposed to be worn with a jacket. But Uhura had chosen to wear only the jumper and she 'forgot' to bring the jacket part along. She wasn't the only woman to do so, but she wore it best if she did say so herself.

The music ended and it looked like the band was taking a break. It took Uhura and Spock a moment to notice that they were now suddenly alone on the patio. Spock broke the trance they were in first and dropped his hand from her back stepping away from her.

There was an awkward moment when neither of them knew what to do, Uhura decided she really was tired and needed to sit. She walked over to the bench on the perimeter of the patio and took a seat while Spock followed her.

"You don't have to keep me company anymore Mr. Spock, I know you'd prefer to be elsewhere."

"Where else would I prefer to be?"

"I don't know, anywhere else I guess. You don't seem to like being with me anymore." Uhura hated the pouty quality of her voice when she said that but she couldn't help how she felt.

Spock was quiet so Uhura took that as confirmation.

"Nyota, I-" Spock began but was interrupted by the sound of voices raised speaking in an alien tongue.

A party of Gorn had entered the Patio. They didn't see Spock and Uhura sitting there yet. Uhura had learned that the Gorn had poor eyesight in the best of conditions so on the darkened patio they likely didn't even notice a pair of humans, well human and Vulcan.

Spock took Uhura by the hand pulling her along behind him. He guided her through a side exit of the patio that she didn't even know was there. She supposed Spock had superior night vision too. Everything about him was superior after all.

They walked silently for a while before she realized they were holding hands. It was strange that she'd known Spock for at least 4 years and they had never held hands before. Well, why would they, they were only colleagues right? Still, it felt so right to walk hand and hand with Spock. His grip was soft and gentle and his hand was warm and dry. She never wanted to let him go but she knew this was just another wish she could not have.

"Spock where are we going?"

He remained silent and just kept walking, his steps confident in the pale starlight.

"Spock, really where are you taking me?"

If Spock were any other man leading her away from a crowded party to some dark secluded corner she would probably be panicking right about now. But this as Spock. He wouldn't do anything to her. Right?

Finally, she heard the sound of running water and they walked into an open area with a fountain. It was lovely. The fountain had water shooting up and dancing along with colored flashing lights putting on a show.

"Mr. Spock, how did you know this was here?" Uhura asked in wonder.

"I stumbled upon it after my meeting with the Vulcan delegates."

"It's wonderful. Some people don't like the sound of running water but I love it. I used to have an aquarium as a girl, and I used to fall asleep to the sound of the filter draining." She reminisced.

"Yes, I know."

"Oh, I told you about that?" She asked, surprised.

"In a manner of speaking."

Still holding hands they walked around the perimeter of the large round fountain. Uhura looked up at the stars.

"I love looking at the stars too. I know it is silly since I live on a starship but I still get that wanderlust when I look up. I still wonder what's out there even though I've seen and been to places no other human will likely ever go."

Spock was still silent but he didn't let go of her hand which gave Uhura the courage to ask, "What were you going to say before the Gorn interrupted us?"

"I was going to tell you that you look magnificent tonight."

"No, you weren't."

"Vulcans do not lie."

"What about half Vulcans? Do they only tell half-truths?"

"I missed you."

"I beg your pardon." Uhura stopped short.

"I was going to tell you that I have missed you."

"You didn't have to."

"I didn't have to tell you?" Spock asked in confusion.

"No, you didn't have to miss me. Why did you? Why did you stop being my friend?" Uhura asked barely holding back tears.

"I did not stop being your friend Nyota."

"Then what do you call it?"

"I needed time... after the incident with T'pring I needed time to myself."

"To sulk? That doesn't sound like you, Mr. Spock. I thought you didn't even like that T'pring?"

"I did not like nor dislike her."

"Oh right you don't like anybody, do you?"

"That is untrue."

"Really, then who do you like?"

"Nyota-"

"Spock, would it kill you to admit you like someone?"

"No."

"Then go ahead, say it. Say 'I like you Nyota'" She challenged him.

Spock was glad she was no longer crying and was now back to her usual bold self.

"What makes you think I like you?" he parried.

"Well do you?"

Spock looked down at her earnest expression. "Yes, I do," he admitted.

"Ok then. Was that so hard?" She smiled up at him.

"Yes, it was." He gave her one of his rare smirks.

"I missed you too." She confessed. "Don't ghost me again. If you have a problem come to me. That's what friends are for. Don't leave me out in the cold." Then she admitted quietly, "You hurt me."

Spock felt as if she had just punched him in the gut. He had not meant to hurt her. He was trying to protect her from himself. But as usual, he had failed. This was further proof that she was better off without him in her life, but now that he was a part of her life he couldn't separate himself without causing her further harm.

"That was never my intention, believe it or not, I was trying to protect you."

"Protect me? From what?"

"From myself."

"What! Why?"

"I am not the man you believe me to be, I am..." he didn't know what he was.

"There is nothing wrong with you," Uhura reassured him.

"I am incapable of being... of feeling... I am a Vulcan," he concluded.

"Oh, that? So what, I can't believe it has escaped your notice that I happen to like Vulcans? One Vulcan in particular. I don't care if you can't laugh or cry, that's just silly. You are who you are. And I like you just the way you are. I've told you that before, I am sure of it."

"Indeed you have."

"Then why don't you ever believe me?"

"I believe that you believe it."

"Spock, I know you're Vulcan and you think you can't feel, but I know you can. I've seen you show emotion, I know you've been hurt in the past. Vulcan doesn't mean Android. You're not a machine you're a person and people need other people. On this mission, I've grown attached to you. I need you. You're one of my closest friends. You've been there for me when I needed you and I thought I was there for you when you needed someone too. Was I wrong?"

"No, you were not wrong."

"So why would you think I needed to be protected from you? You only hurt me when you hide from me; when you shut me out with no explanation. If I've done something to offend you then tell me. I know I can be too much. Too loud, too bold, too emotional. But all you have to do is tell me and I'll stop-"

"I do not want you to stop. I do not want you to change. I... You are perfect just as you are."

"Then what?"

"There are things about me that you do not know."

"What things? Just tell me."

"I cannot. If you knew what I am, what I am capable of doing, you would hate me."

"Never. There is nothing you could tell me that would turn me away from you."

"I wish I could believe that is true."

"Then you don't believe in me?"

"I do believe in you, I supposed I don't believe in myself."

"Well, I'll just have to believe for both of us." She said stubbornly.

"Nyota there are things about Vulcans that you do not know, that no one outside of Vulcan knows."

"Well if you tell me then I'll know. And I won't tell anyone if you tell me not to."

"It is not that simple. Are there things that you do not like about yourself? Are there secrets that you don't want anyone to know about you?"

"Of course there are. Everyone has secrets."

"If I asked, would you tell them to me? Or would you protect them?"

"Well, I guess it depends on if you needed to know it. I mean, you don't need to know if I have a mole someplace intimate." She teased trying to break the tension she felt building in Spock.

"This is bigger than a mole."

"Then what is it? You're building it up so much you're making me think its something terrible."

"And what if it is terrible?"

"Does the Captain know what it is? Does McCoy?"

Spock was silent for a long moment before he replied.

"They know some of it but not everything, I do not want them to know everything. I do not want anyone to know."

Spock didn't want anyone to know that every seven years the males of his race lose all inhibitions and practically turn into beasts. He didn't want Nyota to know that he could hurt her during an intimate moment. He didn't want her to know that during his Time he would be driven to use his wife as if she were a whore. Nyota as too good for that. And that was why she must never know. That was why he must marry a Vulcan woman despite what he wanted.

"My mother never wanted me," Uhura said suddenly. "I was raised by my grandmother."

"Nyota," Spock said stunned by her confession but she continued.

"My parents divorced shortly after I was born and when I was six my mother decided she wanted to resume her career. So I was shipped off to Grandma and Grandpa. My brothers were older and they could fend for themselves but I needed a mama. My brothers visited in the summer and my father, he came and went with his work. He's a musician and he traveled a lot. He'd take us kids with him during school breaks but most of the time it was just me and my grandparents. And then Grandpa got sick..." Uhura began to sob.

"Hush," Spock said and pulled her into his arms.

Spock felt like the galaxy's greatest fool. He was a coward. He had avoided Nyota, pretending to protect her from himself but he had really been protecting himself from her. She made him feel emotions and it frightened him. But he could not admit that so he had pushed her away.

He held her tight, rubbing her back and brushing his lips against her forehead. She had told him her greatest secret and he was humbled. She wasn't afraid to share her pain and her grief and her fears. She wasn't afraid to share her truth while he hid behind logic and pride. This woman gutted him. She deserved better than him. But he couldn't let her go. Not now not ever.

Nyota cried until she had no more tears to left shed. She'd never told a soul about her family. She always presented herself as the happy go lucky girl without a worry in the world. She told herself that the past was the past and it didn't matter. But it did matter. People were always leaving her, her mother, her father, her grandfather, Riley. Spock. Was she so unlovable? Was she so easily disposed of?

"Why didn't she want me?" she sobbed.

"I want you." She thought she heard Spock say but she was beyond caring, beyond understanding. Sometime later she realized she was in Spock's arms and he was slowly rocking her back and forth. They were sitting on the edge of the fountain and when she lifted her head away from his chest and she saw that Spock's shirtfront was wet with tears and mucus. Uh oh.

She looked at the sky and saw that the stars were fading and it was just before dawn. She tried to pull away from Spock but he tightened his grip around her. "Hush," he said and he kissed her forehead.

WHAT. THE. HELL? Uhura thought. She squirmed in his arms. WHAT THE... is she sitting on Spock's lap? Wait, what! Was this the mirror universe? Was she drunk?

"Spock?" she sniffled.

"Shhh"

"But-"

"Shh, you do not need to say anymore. Nyota, we are going to have a long talk, you and I," he declared.

Uhura was not up for a long talk tonight, she felt wrung out.

"Mister Spock, not tonight. I have a headache." Uhura yawned as she rested her head back on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

Spock threw his head back and barked out a laughed.

Yea, Uhura thought before she dozed off. I'm drunk.


	2. Not Prince charming

**Not Prince Charming**

"Spock to Enterprise."

"Enterprise, M'ress here."

"Lieutenant M'ress, Please patch me through to the transporter room."

"Aye, Sir, transferring now."

"Transporter room, Kyle here."

"Mr. Kyle, party of two to beam aboard at my coordinates."

"Aye, sir stand by for transport."

Spock held Uhura's sleeping form in his arms and prepared to beam aboard the enterprise. The ball was over but there were stragglers lurking about and now that the sun was rising he wanted to get Uhura aboard before they were discovered. It was going to be awkward enough beaming up with her in his arms. He didn't want drunken party goers to stumble upon them and draw conclusions.

He felt the familiar thrum of the transporter beam and suddenly they were on the transporter pad of the enterprise.

"Mr. Spock is everything ok?" Kyle asked.

"Yes, Mr. Kyle, the Lieutenant is just sleeping. She worked very hard on the soiree. I will return her to her quarters and then I will take command until the captain returns."

"Aye Commander."

Spock walked quickly through the corridors of the ship, hoping to avoid prying eyes. He and Uhura had not done anything untoward but he knew how the rumor mill operated on the Ship. If he were spotted with an unconscious Uhura in tow tongues would wag.

He made it to her quarters without bumping into anyone and tapped in her lock code. She didn't even stir when he settled her on her bunk. She must be exhausted. He looked down at her for a long moment. He had said that they would need to have a long conversation but looking at her sleeping form, and the innocent look on her face, he dreaded it. How would she respond when she learned of his greatest secret?

Spock took hold of Uhura's hand. He'd relished holding her hand last night. He had not wanted to let her go and he had held on for as long as he could. He took a small liberty and kissed her knuckles. One day he hoped he would have the right to do so openly and without fear or shame. He wanted to kiss her without some foolish guilt that he was breaking a Vulcan taboo.

He needed to return to duty but he didn't want to leave her. The least he could do was make sure she got the rest she deserved. That meant making her comfortable. He should probably remove her outfit.

But that presented another problem. This outfit lovely though it looked was skin tight and he could detect noway of easily removing it. Still, it didn't seem right to leave her in this tight suit. It would be uncomfortable. Gently he rolled her to her side and looked for a zipper or some kind of clasp. He found none.

There was nothing for it, he would have to peel it off of her.

He started rolling the red suit off her shoulders and he discovered she was not wearing a bra.

Spock took a deep breath. Did he continue or did he leave her to her modesty? Vulcans did not share the human concept of shame of the naked form. It was illogical. Were she a Vulcan female he would strip her and be done with it. He didn't think Uhura was self-conscious about nudity but that was a subject they had never breached.

She often joked that she wore the smallest uniform she could get away with and swore that it was more comfortable than the trousers most men chose to wear. Nyota had started a trend on the Enterprise and in Starfleet where women competed to see who could get their skirt shorter.

He had previously seen her in various states of undress so... Determined, he peeled the body suit down and down, past her naked breast, down past her naked hips and off. He quickly covered her with a blanket. The uniform he held in his hands was still warm with her body heat. Spock didn't know why but he decided to take it with him.

His last act before leaving was to lower the lights and set her alarm so she was not late for her shift. And then before he left he bent down and kissed her forehead. She did not awaken like a fairytale princess, instead, she wrinkled her nose and continued to sleep.

Spock stifled a grin. She was utterly charming.

* * *

Uhura awoke in her bed with a splitting headache. She opened her eyes slowly and looked around slowly. The room was lit at half brightness which suited her just fine she didn't think her eyes could handle full light. She sat up and discovered she was naked. Where the heck were her clothes? She never slept naked, what if there was a red alert or some other emergency? She always slept in the very least her fleet issued undies. But she was buck naked. And she didn't remember how it happened.

What the hell happened last night again? The ball! She went out on the patio with Spock... Spock! Was he the one who brought her back to her quarters? Did he undress her?

She drank a lot of champagne last night. She danced a lot too. She remembered finding Spock alone and dancing with him... and that's all. How did that lead to her being here now naked?

She could not believe his nerve.

She got on the com and dialed up Charlene.

"What?!" Charlene barked into the other end of the com. "This ship better be on fire or hurling into the sun." She mumbled sounding as if she was drifting off to sleep again.

"Char, Guuurl!" Nyota drawled. "Explain to me why I just woke up in my suite stark naked with no memory of the night before?"

"What!" This time Nyota heard ruffling in the background "Who? No, what happened to you girl!" Charlene demanded.

"I don't remember, I drank a lot of champagne last night, I danced with a lot of diplomats, I went on a walk with Spock and ...and... the rest is a blank.

"Do you think Spock did something?"

"Did something like what?" Nyota asked not liking the question one bit.

Charlene whispered, "did you um, did he, er, touch you?"

"Why are we whispering?" Uhura whispered back. "And of course, he touched me he must have put me to bed."

"What I mean is, did he, you know, take advantage of the situation?"

"Char! Of course not!"

"How do you know? Are you sure?"

"It's Spock we're talking about." She protested. Besides she thought, Spock doesn't need to molest me.

"He's still a man and they're all the same. And why are you calling me at the crack of dawn disturbing my rest if he didn't molest you?"

"Cause, I don't know. What do I do now? How do I face him after getting shit faced and apparently passing out?"

"You just do it. Ask him what happened and move on."

"I guess. I wish I could remember, especially the part where he found it necessary to undress me down to nothing."

"Girl, you were wearing next to nothing to begin with.

And he's a man. So he got a free look, probably a free feel too."

"Charlene! Spock isn't like that."

"Are you sure?"

That question gave Uhura pause. Was she sure?

"Ny, go back to sleep. The ball is over and unlike Cinderella, we have to go to work later. Prince Charming is not coming to take us away from all this."

"I guess you're right."

"I'm always right."

But Uhura couldn't go back to sleep. She was fairly certain she hadn't been taken advantage of by Spock. But that didn't mean he hadn't seen her in her altogether. Had he seen that mole? She wanted to die. She covered her face with her pillow.

And what had she said to him? How had she behaved? Did she spill her drink, was that why she was disrobed? Had she come on to him!

"Please God, please don't let me have made a pass at Spock," she begged. She would die of embarrassment if she had. She did not want that man to know she had a thing for him. Not now not ever.

It was one thing for Christine to run around pining after the man like a lovesick fool but Uhura absolutely refused to do so. She wouldn't be able to stand it if he rejected her. He had already been avoiding her lately and she still didn't know why. It had to be something she'd done, something she'd said, something she'd let slip about her feelings and he'd been avoiding her ever since.

She sat up in bed and the room swayed. Uh oh. She felt ill and she rushed for the ensuite. She made it to the toilet just in time to spill her guts. Uhura was miserable. She had a headache, a tummyache, and she suspected she'd made a fool of herself in front of Spock. Cinderella got a glass slipper and a handsome prince after the ball, Uhura thought, and all she got was this porcelain throne. And regret.

* * *

"Lieutenant Uhura," Spock said as the lift doors closed. "How are you feeling today?"

"Feeling? Fine, just fine. Why do you ask?" Uhura said nervously.

"You seemed a bit distracted during your shift and you appear tired?" Spock asked with concern.

"Well, it was a long day, especially with the Ball. I'm sure I'll be able to rest now that all the official ceremonies are over. And I just got word that the Captain has indeed issued a leave for all personnel who participated in the preparations."

"Yes, I put in the request as you suggested."

"As I suggested?"

"Yes, you suggested that the committee members be granted extended shore leave."

"Last night?"

"Yes, last night."

"Oh. Uh, Mr. Spck do you mind if we talk about that."

"Yes, I did promise that we would have a long talk."

"You did? When?"

"Last night." He said as if she were a simpleton.

"Right, this is about last night-"

"Nyota I would like to discuss matters over dinner. I will explain everything then. Will you meet me in my quarters at 2100 hours?"

"Dinner? In your quarters?" Uhura was shocked.

"Yes."

"OK"

"Excellent," Spock said. The turbo lift stopped and he departed without a backward glance.

* * *

Uhura was nervous, she has dined with Spock a million times, in the mess hall but he'd never invited her to his quarters to eat. She met him there occasionally to study the harp or to discuss her career goals. Sometimes he persuaded her to play chess or he would drill her on Vulcan vocabulary while she was there. But they had never shared a meal in his personal space. That seemed a bit to intimate for a Vulcan. And now suddenly he had invited her to dine privately with him? What the hell happened last night she wondered for the millionth time.

Uhura dreaded her dinner date with Spock. She was calling it a date in her head even though it could have been for something completely innocent. Maybe he wanted to reprimand her in private. Had she swung from a chandelier or something?

Or maybe he wanted to turn her down easily after she had made a fool of herself and begged him to bang her. who knew? And what did one wear on a date with a Vulcan? Uhura searched in her little wardrobe closet when she realized her dress uniform was missing. she searched a second time and even looked around her quarters. Maybe after removing it Spock had placed it somewhere else. She looked under her bed, behind her desk in her dresser drawers, in the ensuite. It was nowhere to be found. What The Hell?

What was going on? She'd heard of guys who collected underwear as trophies but whole uniforms? What the hell! If Spock had violated her...by the time she was done with him he'd wish he'd killed himself instead. Nobody messed with her and got away with it. She wasn't taking shit from guys anymore. Uhura thought angrily. Not even Spock.

Then her anger deflated and she wanted to cry instead. This was too much pressure. Normally she'd talk to Chris about man problems, Christine was a good shoulder to cry on and they had become close friends after Dr. Corby was killed. But Uhura could not talk to Chris about Spock. She hated to do it but...

She punched in a number on her com.

"Masters here."

"Charlene, I need you in my quarter's stat."

"What is it now?"

"Just get here! It's an emergency. Uhura out."

Uhura paced her quarters until Charlene arrived. Charlene didn't bother to announce herself, she just used the lock code and barged in.

"Where's the fire?" Charlene demanded.

"The fire is Mr. Spock."

"Not this again. I thought I told you to just ask him what happened?"

"I did...sorta."

"And what did he say?"

"He invited me to dinner."

"What! uh, What?"

"Yes! Exactly what I was thinking."

"Okay, what happened exactly?"

"At the end of the shift, I asked Spock if we could talk. He got a strange look on his face. I swear he looked like a deer in headlights if I didn't know any better.

"So he was like 'yes I promised that we would have a long talk'

and I was like when, and he was like last night.

And so I said Spock, about last night..." Uhura rambled retelling the story to Charlene.

"He said 'Nyota-'"

"Whoa, he called you Nyota?"

"Yes, why?"

"Since when does Mr. Spock call you Nyota?"

"I don't know. He calls me that sometimes. That's not what's important. He said 'Nyota I would like to discuss matters over dinner. I will explain everything then. Will you meet me in my quarters at 2100 hours?'" Uhura mimicked Spock speech pattern and voice.

"That's it?" Charlene asked.

"That's it! That's it? Isn't it enough? He has never invited me to dinner in his quarters before. And that's not all, I can't find my uniform."

"Honey, you're wearing your uniform."

"No, not this, my dress uniform from last night, the one he removed from my body. It's gone."

"What do you mean it's gone?"

"I mean I've looked everywhere and I can't find it. I think Spock took it."

"Why would he take your dress uniform?"

"I don't know, that's why this is a code red alert. What do you think happened last night?"

"Maybe he ripped it off of you and disposed of it," Charlene offered.

"Charlene would you please be serious. I would remember something that, wouldn't I?"

"Girl you don't remember shit."

"He better not have thrown my uniform away. I loved that uniform, it was a souvenir from the academy. Besides I just cannot imagine Mr. Spock doing something so violent and tawdry. It's disgusting."

"So maybe you puked on it."

Now that sounded more logical. "Yeah, it could be that. When I woke up today I was sick to my stomach and I was in the washroom for a minute."

"There you go, mystery solved. Cancel the red alert."

"It's still red alert. We still have that dinner date. I don't know what it's about, I don't know what to wear. I don't know anything."

Uhura was pacing again. "What if I made a fool of myself last night? what if I let something slip." She was beginning to panic again.

"Something slip? Like what?" Charlene asked with suspicion.

"Yeah, well you know, something embarrassing." Nyota hedged.

"What's more embarrassing than puking on yourself in front of your commanding officer?"

"I can think of at least a dozen things."

"Like what? Actually puking on your commanding officer?" Charlene teased.

Oh god please let it be that, Uhura thought. Let it not be what she was thinking it was.

That was one secret she wanted to take to her grave. But secrets have a habit of getting out when you least expect it, besides she had to tell somebody, she couldn't keep hiding.

"Char, what if... what if something did happen between me and Mr. Spock? But what if he wasn't the one who started it?"

"Ny, what do you mean?" Charlene asked suspiciously.

"I mean, what if let's say, I propositioned Mr. Spock?"

"Did you?"

"I don't know, I can't remember a thing, but I get these impressions. I could have. I don't know." She sat on her bunk and grabbed her temples.

"Ok, so what if you did? What if you said, 'Mr. Spock, I want to have your baby?' I'm sure he'd just pat you on the head and say 'nice Uhura' and put you to bed. You said so yourself, this is Mr. Spock. Christine has been propositioning him for years and he has nary batted an eye. He's not interested in you." Charlene reassured her.

"Gee thanks."

"What do you want me to tell you? What will make this all better for you?" Charlene said becoming frustrated with the whole situation.

"Tell me that I didn't make a damn fool of myself in front of Mr. Spock," Uhura cried.

"It means that much to you?" Charlene asked sitting next to Uhura.

"Yes. I can't..." Uhura started to cry.

"You can't what Ny?"

"I don't want things to change between us," Uhura said sadly.

"Ny, are you in love with Mr. Spock?"

"What? NO!"

"Nyota Uhura look me in the eye, are you in love with Spock?"

Uhura shook herself free. "Leave me alone."

"You begged me to come here!"

"Well, now you can leave,"

"Oh no. Ny, be honest. If not with me than with yourself."

"What difference would it make? You said so yourself he is not interested in me."

"So it's true?"

"Char, please leave it," Uhura sniffled.

"Ok. Ok. So that leads back to dinner tonight. Why would Mr. Spock invite you to dinner? Is this a date?"

"No."

"How do you know?"

"Spock doesn't date."

"Then what?"

"I don't know. He said we needed to have a long talk. And that bothers me. What do we have to talk about?"

"Maybe you did puke on him. Maybe he thinks you're an alcoholic or something and he wants to intervene."

"I hope so."

"I have never heard someone wish to be thought of an alcoholic."

"Desperate times call for desperate measures," Uhura said.

"Indeed. Nyota, I think you are blowing all of this out of proportion. I'm sure there is a simple explanation for all of this. Go have dinner, have that long talk, then come home and tell me every single detail," Charlene teased.

"Charlene! This is serious, this is my life."

"So go live it. See what Spock has to say for himself. Ask him where your uniform is, ask him if he took advantage you, ask him if you puked on him. Make the first move. Its got to be better than not knowing."

"You're right. I have to face the music and dance."

"That's what got you in trouble in the first place."

Charlene stood up to leave.

"I'll tell you one thing, I'm gonna steer clear of Mister Spock. I don't want to be another one of the women caught up in his web."

"What web?" Uhura asked as she tried to pull herself together.

"The web he weaves to catch you all and then he wraps you up in his silk and leaves you hanging there. I don't need that in my life. I've got ninety-nine problems but Spock ain't one."

"Har har har," Uhura feigned laughter.

"Nyota I want to give you some advice. No matter what happens tonight, do not fall in love with Mr. Spock. He will break your heart. The best case scenario is that you end up following him around like Christine. Worst case... well I don't want to see the worst case happen to you.

Oh, and by the way, wear your sarong dress. It's casual but sexy. And easily removed for quick access." Charlene comically wagged her brows up and down.

"You just said don't fall in love."

"I know what I said. I said don't fall in love, I didn't say don't fall into bed. Sex has nothing to do with love. If he wants to clear your pipes let him, just don't fall for his strong silent type routine. Men like Spock and the Captain, they are married to the service and this ship. They don't have time or space in their lives for women like us."

"I guess."

"I know from experience. With men like that you'll always come in second. When duty calls you'll be left behind, waiting."

"But we're in the service too. Won't it be the same for the men who love us?"

"Let me ask you this, do you live only for this ship? Is the Enterprise your first love? If a better offer came along, say a great civilian position would you take it?"

"I don't know, it depends on the job."

"The fact that you would even consider it says it all. For Spock and Kirk, there is only this ship, there is no other job no other life. Nyota, girl I can't tell you what to do. I can't tell you not to love who you love. If you love Spock I guess you love him, but just know it's going to be a hard row to hoe. Ask Christine. Maybe y'all can start a Mr. Spock fan club."

"That's not even funny Char. I've always felt sorry for Christine. She's my friend and everything, but she's done some questionable things in the past trying to make Spock love her. I know what people say behind her back. I don't want that to happen to me."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I think I'm going to have to break it off with Spock." Nyota declared.

Charlene laughed. "Girl, you're not even dating him. Are you sure you're not in delusion land with Christine?"

"No. I mean I'm going to have to get over him. You know the funny thing is he ghosted me a few months ago and I was miserable. Now he wants to have dinner? Now he wants to be friends? You're right Charlene. I don't want to be some man's second thought. I can't live like that." Uhura said with tears in her eyes again.

Charlene took Uhura into her arms in a bear hug. "I know sweety, I know. You're not cut out for all of this. You're too good for him. You've got a big heart and love is important to you. Mr. Spock can't love you the way you need. Some women may be content to live in the shadows but you need to live in the sunlight. You need all of a man's love, you're not side-chick material."

"Okay," Uhura said wiping her eyes. "Help me get ready?" She asked Charlene as she went to her closet to get out her 'freakum dress'.

"I've got a man to dump."


	3. You Don't Know Me

Guess who's back, back again? Me! I've been posting my old stories on another site and while re-reading them and editing them I came up with a new chapter for this one. Hopefully, more to come.

* * *

Uhura walked into Spock's quarters like a wrecking ball, she was determined to 'dump' him before he had the chance to break her heart.

"I've been thinking about this all day and I finally decided," Uhura announced as she took her seat in Spock's small living area.

"So I'm just gonna say it. Did we sleep together last night?"

Spock was not expecting that. "I beg your pardon?"

"Did we sleep together last night after the Gorn ball? Yes or no?"

"Well, actually we did not get much sleep-"

"Oh my god! How could you... What... Why would you allow something like that to happen!" She said with a look of horror on her face.

Spock was devastated. How could Nyota even think something like that of him? And her look of horror. Was he that repulsive to her? "Nyota calm yourself. Please allow me to explain-"

Uhura cut him off, "What is there to explain? I got drunk and propositioned you and next thing you know we're in bed together? How could you let something like that happen Spock?"

"Nyota, please listen. We did not go to bed together." He informed her.

"No?"

"No"

"But you just said- if we didn't go to bed together then where did we do it? At the ball!" she shrieked.

"Nyota, we did not 'do' anything. You became inebriated and fell asleep and I brought you back up to the Enterprise. So you did sleep in my presence but we did not "sleep together" or anything else."

"Oh," she said and now Spock though she sounded disappointed. But there was no time for him to ponder as there was a new outburst.

"Oh no! Why did you sit there and let me make a fool of myself for a second time?" She pushed him back into the couch cushions.

"You let me think the worst! I thought... I thought... you know what I thought!"

"Indeed?" He did not actually know what she was raving on about if the truth were to be told.

"Yes!"

"You believe our sleeping together would be... undesirable?"

"Of course. We're friends, we work together. Can you just imagine the awkwardness we would feel around one another afterward, not to mention the gossip? But I should have known better. I should have known you wouldn't let something like that happen," she laughed self consciously. "I was just being silly."

"Yes, we are friends," Spock said. His mood was beginning to sour. This is not the talk he had planned to have with Nyota tonight.

Uhura sensed a change in his mood as well but she thought she had offended him. "Look, Spock, you and I are friends. I'm sorry I ever thought anything like that about you it's just that I woke up with no clothes on and I thought the worse. I mean if you were a human man I would assume the worse but I should have known you wouldn't be like other men. You're nothing like them."

Every word she spoke was like a knife to his heart. "I'm not?"

"No, of course not. You're different. You're better."

"Nyota I wish you would not put me up on a pedestal. But you are correct, I am not like normal men, I am far worse."

"Nonsense. I know you Mr. Spock and I should have known you would never take advantage of a woman." She shook her head at her own foolishness. "I'm sure as a Vulcan it never even crossed your mine to do anything so untoward as to...well lets just drop it. I was wrong and I'm sorry for it. I feel so foolish. Chalene told me to just be straightforward and ask you. I worried about it all day for nothing, and it was all as she, said a misunderstanding."

Uhura casually patted his hand as she often did and Spock felt the relief she was feeling through the brief contact.

"Now, what was it you wanted to discuss?"

For the first time in a very long time, Spock found himself dumbfounded. He didn't know what to say to Nyota now. She had made it very clear she wanted nothing of a romantic nature to occur between them. She had all but announced she didn't think of him like a normal man. What would she say if he told her about his affliction? And why would he ever tell her now after she has declared she thought of him as only a friend?

He was devastated but he did not know how to process it right now so he fell back on his training and a lifetime of shoving his emotions aside. He was cool and precise.

"I wanted to discuss your comportment, last night lieutenant," those were the words that came out of his mouth but what he felt was, he wanted to tell her that he admired her above all others and he wanted to explore the two of them sharing a life together.

"I understand. I was still unofficially on duty and I got drunk and passed out, not the good impression Captain Kirk wanted us to make I'm sure? I promise it won't happen again. I'm swearing off liquor. I don't like the way it made me feel or behave. I don't like waking up not knowing what happened to me. I've had my mind wiped and controlled and I don't want a repeat of any of it. I don't like being so vulnerable. I'll keep a clear head from now on."

"That sounds like a wise decision lieutenant," Spock heard himself say. He wanted to tell her he would protect her and she would never have to be afraid of anyone harming her on his watch.

"Is this an official reprimand?" She asked.

"No. I just wanted to... discuss it privately. You are an excellent officer and your behavior was not untoward. I just wanted to make you aware of last night, as a friend." He said and the words were like sand in his mouth. He did not want to be just a friend.

"Thank you, Spock. You don't know how worried I was about the whole ordeal. A weight has been lifted off my shoulders."

Spock felt that a weight had just been placed firmly onto his. He didn't have the courage to tell her what he really felt, what he had intended to tell her. He didn't even have the courage to look her in the eye now. Uhura said it would have been awkward if they had slept together, yet it was awkward for him now that they had not.

"Nyota, I know I invited you to have dinner but I do have a lot of work to catch up on and I'm sure you could use additional rest from your eventful night. Would you mind if we postpone our meal for another time?"

"Oh no. I can tell that you're a bit off tonight too. I hope its nothing serious? Were there any other incidents last night? Or did you have a run-in with your father?" She asked so sincerely as if she truly cared about him.

"No, nothing serious. Even Vulcans need downtime if not rest. I will meditate per my usual and I am sure I will be fine."

"Oh, ok. Well, I'm going to hold you to that dinner invite."

She stood. "Thank you, Spock, for taking such good care of me last night." She impulsively kissed his cheek and Spock accepted the breach in etiquette stoically.

"Have a good night Lieutenant," he escorted her to the door. He watched as she retreated down the corridor towards the turbolift without a backward glance. Uhura was unaware that Spock was struggling to maintain his control as he fought the urge to race after her and snatch her up and carry her away. She walked away blissfully unaware of who he was, of what he was capable of. Blissfully unaware of the Vulcan heart or that she had just broken one.


End file.
